Well, I've now been gone almost two months. It's been a hectic time for me as I prepared myself to make Aliyah (move to Israel to become a citizen) and started settling down in Tel Aviv. It seems almost like a lifetime ago and it's been just barely, not even quite 8 weeks. When people ask me how it was, I feel bad. I was just not in a good place to truly open myself up to the experience. I was so occupied with wanting to be somewhere else (Israel) which is why ultimately I decided it was time to leave. Mostly my answer is "It was beautiful" and kind of leave it at that. But there's a bit more to it than that. I had a family that took me in as one of their own, Jewish connections, a job I enjoyed, and then I got to travel around the country. Really, honestly, it wasn't bad; I was just not up for it.
I think some of the highlights from my time in Auckland was cooking for the family, going to the museum with Bonnie (August 1), exploring Rangitoto with Andy (July 23), going to Piha with Ari (August 2), having my first Shabbat dinner at the Bloksberg home, Shabbat dinners at Aviad and Yaira's home, going to work and acting silly, and exploring Auckland.
My favorite thing about the 19 days of traveling was Hot Water Beach (September 9). My next favorite is a tie between the fancy dress party (September 18) and Queenstown (September 22). The worst part of my trip was getting bedbugs (September 11). GROSS. Other highlights would include getting to meet friends of Suz and zorbing in Rotorua (September 12), seeing glow worms (even though it wasn't what I imagined it would be as there weren't very many (September 10), going to Hobbiton and the Tamaki Village (September 11), and making friends along the way. Those friends were mostly English and the way they asked questions rubbed off on me. I've since stopped with asking questions the way they did.
I'm really glad that I at least gave it a shot, even if it wasn't a genuine shot. It let me know that I can do anything if I really want to…especially give living in another country a chance (without a program, I mean.) If I could do it there, I could do it in Israel. And if I can do it in Israel, then I can pretty much do it anywhere else. I had to learn to rely on myself more if I wanted to get anything done. My 25 year old self is slightly annoyed my present self. I wanted to live in London so badly back in 2011, but I thought it would be too hard and I'd fail; so after doing some research on how to get a visa (and being told that it was next to impossible) I gave up on that dream. Ultimately, the course I chose to take has been a wild ride.
A part of me wishes I would've been in the right mindset to truly enjoy the opportunities New Zealand had to offer, but I'm also happy to be back in Tel Aviv. It's where my heart is, and I knew that I would never be able to shake off the feeling of regret if I didn't venture out to New Zealand. I am glad I went and got to learn more about myself.
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